


I'll Be Your Shelter

by Hexgirl_Willow



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gamzee and Kanaya are bffs, Humanstuck, M/M, Mobster Gamzee, Oh yeah I forgot there's smut in this, Tav might be fucked up, Team Earth signs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:11:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1269337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexgirl_Willow/pseuds/Hexgirl_Willow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were planning on looting this motherfucker for everything he owned, but you weren't expecting to find this.</p><p>You never thought you would be able to leave this place, but now you've gotten you're freedom. You just hope things won't be like last time.</p><p>Gamzee Makara and Tavros Nitram, one lives the high life with little to no worries, but the other has suffered nothing but Hell all his life. Tavros is grateful for his new life, but what about his feeling towards his newest protector.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this has been a side project of mine, and if your just getting here I'm also on ff.net same name no underscore. This was really just so I could practice writing smut, but I also wanted to make this a story that had fluff in it too. Enjoy!

**Be the scared teen**

You are Tavros Nitram you’re nineteen years old and you’re terrified. Your boyfriend (warden) isn’t back yet from what he called “Business that a little slut like you don’t need to worry about.” He then left you in the apartment all alone expecting dinner when he came back. (He didn’t say it, but after 3 years with him you just know.) At least he left enough food out to actually make for two. Now it’s past the time for him to be back, and his part of dinner is cold. (You got tired of waiting for him, and decided eating without him was worth the beating he’d give you later.) That, however, is the least of your worries because right now there is a banging at the front door, and… BANG! Oh shit, that was a gun!

The doorknob is now broken and you hear unfamiliar voices. This is bad and the only thing you can think to do is hide, but you have this stupid chain around your ankle that’s just long enough for you to go into the bedroom, bathroom, and the kitchen/living room area, but you definitely can’t leave the apartment. The chain would just lead them to you. So you sit on the kitchen floor your knees drawn to your chest and back gently pressed against the wall.

Was it the cops? You hope not, who knows where they’ll send you? Did he finally do something stupid? Probably. What if they take you and keep you as theirs? Will they hurt you like he did? Is he dead? Did they kill him? Would they let you go? No, that can’t happen you’ll eventually just end up on the street again, or they could somehow send you back to your parents. That’s not what you want, you left for a reason and it’s what got you here in the first place. You’re screwed either way.

‘I just want to be safe for once. Why is that so hard?’ you wonder to yourself as you stare at the door.

**Be the head gangster**

You are now Gamzee Makara you’re twenty-four years old, and that whiny bastard finally got what was coming to him. No one cuts back payments; a deal’s a deal and the motherfucker who violates that sleeps with the fishes. (Sleeps with the fishes? What is this The Godfather?) But now you’ve got other priorities like seeing what junk of his is worth looting.

You enter the apartment and the first thing you see is a young man staring at you wide-eyed and terrified. Oh, well shit this is awkward. You save people in these situations all the time; it’s usually chicks and their kids though. You stare at the young guy for a little bit he doesn’t say anything just sits there looking terrified. You wonder how long he’s been with that fucker, he looks young. His brown hair is styled into a floppy mohawk, he has bruises on his face and arms from what you can see. He’s wearing tight short shorts and a muscle shirt, this outfit just screams “I’m only here to be eye candy.”

“I’m gonna have a word with this motherfucker real quick.” Your boys move to the living room and start grabbing stuff. There’s a lot of nice stuff in here. You pick the kid up from the floor and he yelps when you place your hand on his back. That doesn’t sound good. He’s pretty light despite his muscular frame. You’re really starting question how he was treated.

**Tavros can you walk**

Yeah, but it hurts since you’ve got bruises on your back near your spine, but being carried hurts too. What could this guy want with you? Oh shit, what if he wants information you don’t have? What if he kills you? He places you on the bed and sits next to you. He stares at you, and you decide to get a better look at him. His eyes are dark blue and his black curly hair frames his angular face. He has three scars going diagonally across his face from forehead to chin. Despite this he’s really handsome… wait… what? No, bad Tavros!

“Look he’s dead, I killed him myself.” He says to you with an apologetic tone in his voice. This baffles you, not the part about your now dead boyfriend (it was bound to happen sooner or later), but the part where he seems to care, and you just stare at him. “Don’t worry I don’t plan on hurting you.” He says reaching out with his hand and gently touching the bruises around your cheeks, eyes, and jaw. He gets this look on his face like he’s angry, then his eyes trail down to your ankle with the chain on it. He takes a sharp breath and he looks back up at you. “What’s this about?” he asks bending down and grabbing a part of the chain. You really don’t want to talk about what led to it, but if he was going to help you take it off...

**Gamzee listen to the kid**

You stare at the chain in your hand then back at the kid, and you notice his thighs have burn scars on them. Now you have more questions, but he has yet to answer the first one. You look up at his face and he looks sad and contemplative.

Clearly the story behind the chain is a painful one. He takes a deep breath and begins to talk. “It’s because I tried to leave a few months after he took me in. It was stupid, I wouldn’t have had anywhere to go, but he was drunk and really mad. He started yelling at me and hitting me and I ran to the door, but he grabbed me and he dragged me out there.” He points to the window that leads out to a balcony. “He yelled at me and lifted me over the railing. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to leave and if I tried again he would kill me.” Tears start rolling down his cheeks, but he continues. “He pushed me further and further until I was screaming and promising that I wouldn’t try to leave again. After that he beat me so bad that I could barely move the next day.” he’s shaking uncontrollably, and you feel the need to console him.

You pull him close to you in a hug and he tenses up, but he just continues to cry and eventually leans into you. His face is on your chest and you can feel his warm tears soaking your shirt, but you focus on getting him to calm down while stroking his soft hair. “Shhh. It’s okay he can’t hurt you anymore, alright? We’ll get you out of here, okay? I’ll make sure your safe.” His sobs have stopped and he just clings to you accepting your embrace. It occurs to you that he might not have had any comfort in God knows how long.

“What’s your name kid?”

“Tavros Nitram” he says quietly, and you barely catch it.

“Well Tavros my name’s Gamzee Makara.” he looks up at you a few tears still streaming down his face. You wipe them away being careful of his bruises. He’s actually pretty cute with full lips and a button nose and soft tan skin (he looks Hispanic, but he also has some Asian features), he’s too skinny, but he’s got some muscle to him. You remember seeing locks on the cabinets and fridge, poor motherfucker’s been starved.

“You got a place to call home Tavvy?” Fear flashes in his eyes and he shakes his head frantically.

“N-no! I ran away from there, and I don’t want to go back.” He says hastily. He calms back down and hugs his legs to his chest, then continues in a quiet voice. “My parents hated me and have probably forgotten about me. I could be dead, and they wouldn’t care.” he says looking down.

“How long have you been here?” You ask in a quiet voice mostly to keep him calm.

“Three years. I was jumped in the alley near my old apartment at the time and he saved me. He said he would protect me, but then…” he trails off a few tears coming from his eyes and he furiously wipes them away. This whole thing makes your heart ache and you know that you have to take him home with you.

**Be the broken boy**

“I wanna help you. It looks like you got no place to go, and I did take away your support system. Now come on, I’m going to get this off you.” He says holding up the chain. “Do you have any other clothes that you can pack up?” Yeah you do, but honestly they’re all fucking short-shorts and tank tops and you would rather burn them. Wait, he wanted to help? Well, that’s nice and all, but the last time you received help it resulted in three years of physical and sexual abuse. You aren’t completely sure how you feel, but you honestly have no other choice. He looks down at you examining your face. You get up from the bed and he looks you up and down. He’s a few inches taller than you and has long limbs, from what you can see he’s slightly muscular. His suit fitting perfectly, it must be custom made.

Well at least you know for sure he’s rich and probably not as big a cheapskate as the dearly departed. He must expect something in return. They all do, but seeing as how you have no other options you decide that being with him would be better. His eyes trail down to the burn scars on your thighs, and he makes a face. He wants to ask, but decides against it. At least he seems to care, and he held you while you cried. It’s been a really long time since someone’s held you.

“Looks like you could use a few meals I can take you back to my place and get you taken care of. How old are you anyway?” He holds your face in his hands gently.

“I’m nineteen.” You say not meeting his gaze you look down and see a bulge forming in his pants. Yep, saw that coming. He notices you staring and he smiles devilishly. Well it was bound to go in this direction eventually. Honestly stuff like this doesn’t really bother you anymore. You’ve done things to survive on the streets since you were sixteen, with men and women. Young exotic boys are just so appealing. You watch as he sits down on the bed, it now occurs to you that this could actually hurt you since you still have really big bruises on your back.

Nowadays sex always hurts, but this is a new person. Maybe he’ll be fine with you just using your mouth.

**Be the horny gangster**

Hey! The kid shouldn’t have looked in the first fucking place. Besides you wanna see what this little beauty can do before you take him back home with you. You are going to help him no matter what. He’s been through enough for someone so young, but hospitality comes at a price. You beckon him over to you with a finger and he walks over numbly, he knew where this was going, and a part of you didn’t like how used to it he seemed.

Nevertheless, you motion for him to get down on his knees and he dutifully obeys with a small amount of relief on his face. He was probably concerned about his back. You’re going to take a look at it and see how bad it is. “Hey don’t look so glum after this you’ll be living the high life. Better make it extra good though.” You tell him with a wink, and he actually has the shame to blush. Motherfucking adorable.

You watch as he unzips your pants eyes flicking up to you every now and then and he releases your half erect member. You see his eyes widen slightly, clearly you’re bigger than the last guy, but it looks like he’s cool with it. He gives it a hard stroke with his warm hand and then he licks it from base to tip going agonizingly slow, the little tease. Once he reaches the tip he puts his pretty lips around it and slides down until his nose is at your groin. You try to keep the moans from escaping your mouth, but shiiiit. He’s fucking good, and the way he’s looking up at you with his brown eyes and thick lashes is sexy as hell. How has he gone from adorable and innocent to sexy and sinful so motherfucking fast?

He starts bobbing his head, deep throating you every time, and fuck he starts humming along your shaft making you lose control over yourself and you let out a breathy moan. You try to buck up into his mouth, but he puts his hands on your hips gently holding you down. He continues to go down on you going faster never once breaking eye contact and you feel like this could be the death of you, the heat coiling in your abdomen begging for release is way too much. The way his tongue is swirling on your dick just makes it more amazing. No one has ever been able to make you feel like this. It feels like miracles.

“Fuck, Tavros, I’m gonna… aaagh.” He stops humming and sucks even harder along your shaft and once he’s at the tip he gives the slit a little lick and you release into his mouth, which he swallows. He puts you back in his mouth one final time and gives you a slow suck humming as he goes and damn it feels good to your over-sensitive body. He leaves your cock and he licks his lips still staring at you, watching as you unravel.

“How was that?” he asks genuinely concerned. He just reverted back to sweet and fucking adorable. It’s like he has an on and off switch. “That was amazing.” You lean down and pull him into a kiss he kisses back and damn he’s good at it. Miraculous. When you pull away he has a question on his face, but he looks like he’s scared to ask it. “What’s on your mind babe? I promise you won’t get in trouble for speaking up. Honest.” At this point you can’t imagine letting anything or anyone hurt this boy ever again. His face brightens up and he leans forward putting his elbows on your knees.

“I just um, what’s your place like?”

“I live in a big ass house with lots of motherfucking rooms. I got a nice pool outside and a pretty cool garden with this one big tree that I used to play on as a kid. All in all I like to think of it as a palace.” You say smiling at him and he looks mystified.

“So would I be allowed to go out in the backyard?” he asks looking up at you with hope.

“Sure baby, you can go wherever you like. The movies, the mall, we can see about getting you into school if you want.” He smiles a wide closed mouthed smile and it warms your heart. But still it also bothers you.

**Be the happy guy**

He’ll let you go outside! He says he won’t hurt you, but those are words you’ve heard too many times before. He sounded genuine enough when he said, but he’s a gangster, and not the hoodrat hoodie kind the businessman kind. While you haven’t been shown this much kindness in a long time you still have a question on your mind.

“Why are you offering me a place to stay? I mean not that I’m not grateful or anything, but I don’t see why you would care.” He looks at you confused. Then he smiles down at you and ruffles your hair, you had to stop yourself from flinching since he isn’t trying to yank it.

“What? Just because I killed a few guys in my day I can’t be a nice motherfucker?” That makes some sense, maybe. Okay it makes none, but again the choices are either the streets or his big mansion. Trying not to get mugged and avoiding STDs or promise of food, shelter and hopefully clothing. Option two is so much better, but what if this turns out like last time? The look on your face must’ve shown your uncertainty because now he’s kneeling in front of you and holding your face.

“I want to take care of you.” The tenderness in his voice makes you feel heat rise to your cheeks. His face is really close to yours, but there is no sense of dread in your stomach. He leans in closer and presses a kiss to your cheek and you keep blushing like a fucking schoolgirl. Out of all the disgusting things you’ve done without batting an eyelash being held and pecked on the cheek makes you blush. Seriously, what the fuck? He chuckles and stands up grabbing a part of the chain and inspecting it. “Let me see your ankle. I need to see what we’re dealing with.” You nod and stick out your leg and he sits on the bed so he can hold it in his hand.

**Gamzee how we getting this chain off the little cutie**

Well its padlocked so maybe you can just pick the lock. You turn to Tavros whose now sitting on the bed looking out the window with the balcony on it. He’s gazing out at the city with a longing look in his eye. He hasn’t been allowed out of this apartment in three motherfucking years. He looks at you for a little bit and then leans back on the bed.

“What cha’ doin’?” You ask.

“I’ve never slept here before so I just want to know what it’s like.” He says in a quiet voice. That’s it! He is so getting the room with the biggest plushest bed, and the best view. You let him drift off while you look at the chain that was way too tight around his ankle. Tools in hand you get to work picking the lock and the chain falls to the floor. With his leg now free Tavros moves it closer to himself and curls up on the bed, fast asleep. You decide to leave him be it’s been a long night and you still have work to do.

**Tavros sleep**

You’re so happy, and this bed is so much more comfortable when you’re not being slammed into the mattress. You have a good feeling about this (a thought that didn’t even occur to you all the other times you’ve been offered “help”), and you were willing to give Gamzee the benefit of the doubt. Now’s not the time for thinking about how this can go south… right now you want to sleep. Your name is Tavros Nitram and things might actually be looking up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee learns more about Tavros' past and how he ended up in the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why must I torture the ones I love. I'm sorry Tav! Also this chapter is so short.

**Gamzee steal whatever you want**

You look at Tavros as he sleeps on the bed. He sleeps curled up into himself resting his head on his arms. It can’t really get more adorable than that, but it’s also a sign that he has a distressed mentality. That’s something you’re going to have to keep an eye on. You head to the living room. There you see that the flat screen has been removed, but as far as you can tell there isn’t much more progress being made. You look around and notice that there’s a door on the far wall near where the TV was. You decide to check it out to see what it is. As you move closer you notice that the chain is coming from this room. Interesting.

You grab the handle and notice that it’s locked, with a sigh you pull out your lock pick and get to work, and a few seconds later you’ve got an entryway into what looks like a study. Jackpot. You walk in and turn on the light this is the messiest room in the entire apartment. Looks like Tavros wasn’t allowed to be in here and you can see why. The chain that’s been attached to him for all that time starts on the front leg of the large desk in the corner of the room. All that trouble just to keep him here.

You look around the room and see that on the other wall is a big painting of a ship on the sea. It looks cheap, but it’s too big to just be there. You walk over to it and lift the painting off the wall and lo and behold there is a big ass safe, with a combination lock. It must have taken a lot to get it installed. Well the land lord can’t be happy about that. Doesn’t really matter to you, you just want to get this fucker open and see what’s inside. You go back into the living room area and grab your blowtorch from your tool bag. Needless to say you got that safe open in no time. When you have removed the door from the safe and take a look inside the first thing that catches your eye is a raggedy looking brown backpack. You take it out of the safe and notice that it’s pretty fucking full. Could it belong to Tavros? You ponder that for a moment and decide not to check its contents yet. Whatever’s in here might be from Tavros’ past and there is no way you’re going to pry into something that ain’t your business. Well more than you already had.

You keep digging around in the safe and there is a hefty amount of cash in there, definitely pocketing that. You keep looking and see not much else of interest. You check the clock on the desk and it’s around 2 in the morning. It’s time to pack up and leave. Just as your about to stand up you see Tavros standing in the door way and staring at the brown backpack with a stunned expression. So it does belong to him.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe he didn’t throw it away.” He says with tears forming in his eyes and he runs over and sits down cross legged. He’s so happy it’s like a kid at Christmas. He takes a hold of the bag staring at it like he isn’t really sure he wants to see what’s inside.

“So that belongs to you, huh?” Tavros nods still staring at the bag reaching out to grab the zipper. He begins to speak as he unzips he bag.

“When I was fifteen, I ran away from home because my parents were abusive and the abuse got worse when they found out I was gay at fourteen.” He pulls out a silver chain with a pendant on it making a cursive K and T that were connected by a small heart. “I was in love with my best friend, Karkat. We had known each other for years and he would always take care of me whenever I came to school and he saw the bruises. I really liked him, but I never thought someone like him or anyone for that matter would like me. Then one day he just came up to me and told me how he felt. I was so happy, and we became boyfriends. We had to keep it a secret though not many people were very open minded in our town. A few months later we were caught kissing at his house by his preacher father. He was so angry, but not at Karkat at me. He called me a cocksucking whore who charmed his way into his son’s mind. Heh, guess he was right.” He says as he rolls the chain through his fingers and rubbing his thumb along the K in the pendant. You really want to argue about that statement, but then you see the small smile on his face and you realize he was joking.

You’re a little unnerved by that, but you listen as he continues his story. “Eventually he called my parents and asked them to pick me up even though I begged him not to. Karkat started yelling at him trying to explain that they weren’t nice people and they would just end up hurting me, but his father didn’t seem to care. My parents came and they took me away and I was so scared. The whole drive home they didn’t say a word to me, but I could see it in their eyes. I don’t know why they hated me so much, but I knew they did and when we got home…” he pauses again and this time he’s gripping the chain in his fist like a life line. “M-my dad he took off his belt and started whipping me with it yelling at me and calling me a filthy fag and I was nothing but a worthless mistake.” A few tears stream down his face but his voice stays level despite a few stutters. “The next day when I got to school Karkat grabbed me and led me into the boy’s bathroom demanding to see what happened. When he saw the bruises and cuts he was filled with so much anger I thought he was going to explode. Later that week we made a plan to run away and that’s what we did. Packed our bags, stole our parent’s money and took a bus to anywhere. That’s how we ended up here, we managed to get money doing odd jobs around town and we managed to make enough money to rent an apartment. It was small and raggedy, but it was ours." He smiles at the pendant fondly, but then his expression becomes grim.

"But a year later we went out to grab some food and we weren’t really doing anything, but we ended up seeing someone get mugged and the mugger spotted us. He took out his gun and we tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t listen and he shot Karkat and the bastard just ran away. Not even caring that he shot a sixteen year old kid. He died in my arms telling me that I needed to be strong and to find a new protector and he said that he was sorry. I was the one who should’ve been sorry. I should’ve called an ambulance…” he wipes his face off with his sleeve and he pauses for a moment.

Wow, this kid has definitely been through hell and back. He goes back to looking through the backpack still sniffling a little he pulls out a worn looking hoodie. He smiles and puts it on, it swallows him but he seems happy with it. He puts the necklace back into the bag and zips it closed. “I’m ready to leave when you are.” He says and it’s amazing how he managed to calm himself down. At least that’s what you thought, but upon a closer inspection of his face he’s still dealing with all these emotions and you don’t think he can handle it. “Alright Tav I got everything I need lets go home.” He gets up and walks out of the apartment never to return here again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tavros' first day in Gamzee's house. He's introduced to Kanaya and more is found out about the boy, and the men question their attraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot going on.

**Gamzee drive**

Tavros is very quiet during the ride out of the city. He’s mostly just staring out the window, but he looks like he’s ready to pass out. You focus on the road.

**Tavros think**

This is so weird. You never thought you’d actually be gone from… him. Now you have a new and hopefully better protector. You like Gamzee, he’s not so bad and he won’t treat you like a prisoner. The fact that you got Karkat’s hoodie back makes you feel better. You miss him so much. He was grumpy and he could be rude sometimes, but he was the only person in your life who cared. He was your only friend none of the other kids liked you very much. It seems like no matter where you went you were hated.

The night he died you felt like a part of you died with him. You had gotten evicted from your apartment and that was when you started selling your body. Karkat had been you’re first and where he was gentle you had to get used to rough treatment pretty fast. You serviced men and women, not caring about anything. You were dead inside and you honestly got no pleasure from being with all those other people. No matter how good you made them feel you felt nothing. Yeah your body reacted, but mentally all you felt was annoyance. You took the money and then crashed in an abandoned building until you earned enough to get an apartment again.

Everything was fine, you were managing to survive until that night that you got cornered by some assholes looking for a good time, free of charge. You had gotten pretty thin and weak at that point still barley making it. You had a little muscle from hiding and running from the cops. How you managed to avoid getting caught was a mystery. You had been overpowered pretty easily, but then you were ‘saved’ by… no forget him.

You’re headed toward a new home. You decide to just focus on that. You can’t focus on the past anymore Karkat wanted you to move on, and the other guy is worth forgetting.

**Gamzee arrive**

You make it to your house and you turn to see that Tavros fell asleep. You turn off the car and get out deciding that you’ll carry him inside. After unbuckling him you lift him out of his seat, and he snuggles against you’re chest. Still cute, this guy just doesn’t make sense to you. As you walk to the front door it opens automatically and your good friend and assistant Kanaya looks at you with wide green eyes as she takes in the sight of the sleeping young adult in your arms.

“Okay before you lose your shit, I’m going to start off by saying that this is not what it looks like.” She raises a perfect eyebrow at you but gets out of the door way so you can get into your house.

“I’ll require an explanation, but on another note does he require medical attention of any kind?” She asks concerned, always so caring. (fussing and meddling)

“No right now I just want to focus on getting him a motherfucking room.” You say as you start climbing the stairs to the second floor and put him in a guest room. You place him on the bed and he curls up again hugging a pillow. You leave and shut the door and turn around to see Kanaya’s confused face.

“Look he’s a runaway who’s been living in this town for a while now. He was in the apartment of the guy I had to deal with, and since that motherfucker is dead I decided to help him. From what he’s told me and from what I’ve seen he’s been through all kinds of motherfucking hell. His name is Tavros, he’s nineteen and he needs a home.” She listens, but she looks skeptical.

“I will take your word for it and he does look like he’s suffered through quite an ordeal. I can’t wait to get to know him.” In other words Tavros is going to get the third degree when he wakes up. You don’t have the energy to deal with this so you decide to just leave her and head to your room. Once there you strip down to your boxers not even bothering with pajamas and you plop onto your bed. Things are going to get a lot more interesting around here.

**Tavros wake up**

You wake up and groggily look around the room you’re in. You have no idea where you are. Then you remember the events of earlier this morning, all of it. Oh god, did you really accept to live with a gangster? Yes, in fact you ended up sucking his dick, kissed him, and cried in front of him twice. You also more or less told him your life story. Now that you’ve caught up with yourself, you grab a pillow and scream into it out of frustration. You are so sick of being a damsel in distress, but it’s all you know now. If this was going to be a thing you wanted to know where you stood with Gamzee, because despite all his promises of not hurting you, and taking care of you, you still have questions.

You are not going to go back to being a fuck toy and you aren’t a pet. You’re still tired though and decide that you could stand to sleep a little longer, that and you don’t know your way around this house.

**Kanaya wake up the young man**

You walk into the guest bedroom that Gamzee put the young man in to find that he’s tossing and turning a little bit. You get closer to him and you can hear him whimpering in his sleep. It occurs to you that he’s having a nightmare and you run a soothing hand through his strip of fluffy hair to calm him down.

“Shhh. Its okay, you’re safe.” He calms down and eventually opens his eyes. The left one bruised and not open all the way. He looks confused, and you realize that you two haven’t been introduced. “My name’s Kanaya. I’m Gamzee’s assistant and occasionally tailor.”

“I’m Tavros.” He says.

His voice is quiet with sleep and he sits up revealing that he is not wearing a shirt and you have to hold back a cringe as you take in the sight. His torso is covered in bruises, he notices that you’re staring and he looks down at his bare torso with confusion. “What happened to my shirt?” he mumbles to himself. The fact that he’s not terribly concerned makes you wonder about a few things, but you decide to ask later.

“Actually I would like to take a look at all your injuries if that’s alright.” You say. He stares at you suspiciously you notice that his eyes are slanted making him look of Asian descent, but he also has some Latin features. He removes the rest of the bedding and you take in his slight frame. He is a little muscular with very little body fat, but it’s the condition his body is in that makes your heart clench. There are burn scars on his thighs but other than that his lower half looks unharmed. There are bite marks on his torso and bruises on his ribs, and it looks like one might’ve been broken at one point. He just stares at you his eyes watching for your reaction. His eyes look tired like he’s been suffering and he’s well aware of it. This is obviously the case.

You start to wonder what might be going through his head, and hope he hadn’t developed a mental illness. You would have to ask your girlfriend to come visit and evaluate him. Subtly of course. “Well, breakfast will be ready soon and I’ll see about getting some ice packs. Do you ache anywhere?” you ask.

“My back.” He says quietly.

“May I see?” He nods and turns around on the bed to present his bare back. He has very big bruises peppering his skin and because he’s so thin you can see his spinal cord. There are what appears to be very old claw marks on his back, and his tan skin is discolored in some places as if new skin had to be grown there. You trace your hand on one of the lighter patches of skin to find that it feels rough. Tavros doesn’t really react to your touch and you wonder if he even felt it.

“How did this happen?” you ask quietly. He turns his head to the side and you see his brown eye stare out at you.

“My dad.” He says and then he turns his head back around. He said it so simply without a hint of emotion. You understand why he ran away. You stare at his back a little more. He’s got curve to him making him look almost feminine from behind. You can’t imagine what he’s been through, but it obvious that he’s a strong person.

“You can come down to eat breakfast and I’ll show you around the house.”

**Let’s see what Gamzee’s doing**

‘Someone’s in the kitchen with Gamzee, someone’s in the kitchen I knoooow, someone’s in the kitchen with Gamzee…’ You continue to hum this song as you flip the pancakes and cook the sausage. You love cooking and today it’s your turn since Kanaya made breakfast yesterday. (cereal and milk)

Tavros and Kanaya come down into the kitchen. Tavros is looking around in awe his lips parted slightly he’s wearing a white t-shirt that’s really big on him. It barely covers over his shorts and it looks kind of cute. Kanaya grabs your attention.

“Gamzee your flapjacks are on fire.” You glace at the pan and yep there’s a fire… oh shit! Grabbing a rag you try to slap the fire out as fast as you can. This mixed with your panic makes very unmanly sounds come from your mouth and once you do get the fire out, you hear giggles. Turning you see Tavros covering his mouth with his hand, but it doesn’t muffle the sound. He’s clutching his side with his other hand and you think he has the cutest laugh ever. Kanaya stares between you two with amusement in her eyes. Tavros’ giggle fit dies down and he removes his hand looking down.

“I’m sorry but that was funny and it’s been a really long time since I laughed.” He says his eyes shining with mirth his smile wide, but still closed lipped. You wonder.

“How come you never smile, like all the way?” you ask.

He looks down a frown on his face he fidgets and shifts his weight from foot to foot. Kanaya looks at him and puts her hand on his shoulder.

“Tavros what’s wrong?” He moves to sit down at the kitchen table.

Once he sits in the chair he leans forward in thought. “I guess I should just show you.” He mutters.

Turning to face you he scrunches up his face and it looks like he struggles for a little bit before he manages to do a full smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. It does however show that he’s missing a few teeth, his left canine on the top row is missing along with a couple of molars in the bottom row. You start to feel rage burn within you. Kanaya gasps.

“It’s not that big a deal I lost them a long time ago.” He says with a shrug.

“How long?” you growl out. He looks up at you there’s no fear, but he does look upset.

“It happened when I was out on the streets. I had a rough customer who was trying to skimp out on my pay. Things got physical and he got a few hits to my face before I could get him in a chokehold and…” he stops realizing what he just said. This makes your eyes widen in shock, did he just? He looks down at the table and puts his head in his hands. He’s shaking it as if trying to shake out the memories.

“Tavros…” Kanaya says looking at him in concern. You know what she’s thinking, she wants him evaluated. This was something you weren’t expecting, but it was understandable.

“You can talk to us, Tav. You know what I do for a motherfucking living. You don’t have to talk about it, but it might help.” You look at him and he peeks one of his eyes back at you. You can see that he’s contemplating what to do next. He slowly removes his hands and looks at you and Kanaya moves to take out plates and get the food. He takes a deep breath and continues.

“I killed him. I wasn’t trying to. I was still a beginner and all I wanted was to do my job then leave. All he had to do was pay, but he tried to pay thirty dollars less than the agreed price. We started shouting at each other and then he figured that if I wouldn’t leave he’d get rid of me. I got scared and as he hit me something in me just snapped and the next thing I know I’m cutting off his air supply and stealing his money. I left and I wasn’t bothered by anyone no cops came looking for me, and even if they did I was a nobody. I only had one friend left and I didn’t want to worry him with my sorry ass. I couldn’t believe I did that or how easy it was. After Karkat died I was never really the same, but I never thought that I would take another life.” This is a lot to process for you, and you’re just glad you were able to take him in before someone else did. Kanaya sets down the food and leaves. You know where she’s going and decide that it’s the right thing to do. At this point Tavros must have a high risk for mental illness or worse he already has one. He’s digging into his food like a starved wolf (which he kind of is) and you watch while being a bit more graceful with your meal.

“Slow down kid you’ll make yourself sick.” He pauses then looks down at his plate he blushes and sets his fork down chewing slower. So cute.

“Heh, sorry it’s been a while since I had sweets, and these pancakes are delicious.” He says with a grin.

“Yeah, well just be glad it was me cooking today and not Kan. She burns water.” You say with a chuckle.

“You know I’m right here.” Comes Kanaya’s voice from the other room.

You and him both laugh and as you stare at his face and see his unhidden smile you think of the ways to get him back good as new. “Hey how about we all go and get you some new clothes once you’re all healed up. We can get you whatever you want.” He nods with a smile after wearing nothing but short shorts and tanks he’s probably itching for an upgrade.

“That would be great. I have some things I want to talk to you about though.” He says.

“Alright then, I’m all ears.”

**Tavros express concerns**

You straighten up in your seat and look at Gamzee’s calm face. He’s really handsome and you’re trying very hard not to go into smitten damsel in distress mode. “So back at the apartment I did some things, you did some things, and well I just want to know what it is you want from me.” You say, now that wasn’t so hard. Gamzee contemplates your words for a second.

“In all honesty Tav, I want you to get better and to have a home. I want you to stay with me for as long as possible and help you. What you’ve been through is some pretty heavy stuff, and I just want to take care of you. I want to show you what it is to have a healthy life away from the streets and away from perverted jackasses.” He says looking you in the eye the whole time. That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to you in a really long time.

Your whole childhood you only had one person who showed you he cared, and he was taken away from you. For so long you had thought that your life was pointless, that if this was all God had planned for you then you couldn’t live any longer. You had wanted to end your life so bad, and for so long. The only reason you never did was because you knew Karkat would be super pissed at you for giving up. Then there was Gamzee, he and Kanaya were willing to help you, you some runaway whore. The gravity of this is too much for you and you feel tears spring to your eyes. Gamzee starts a little but relaxes when he sees the smile on your face.

“Gamzee that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in a long time.” You choke out then you leap from your chair and give him a hug and a kiss to show your gratitude. Thank you is the only thing you can say while you’re clinging to him, and he’s hugging back gently rubbing your back. There’s a sudden pain in your stomach and you release him hunching over, you feel so weird. “Ugh.” Gamzee gets up from his chair.

“What’s wrong?”

“My stomach feels weird. Like I’m gonna explode.” You answer.

Gamzee lifts up your shirt exposing your belly button. He pokes a lump in your abdomen then smiles up at you. “Looks like you’re not used to eating normal portions. You just ate too much. Does it hurt really bad?” He asks releasing your shirt. You nod pathetically and immediately you’re being carried to the living room and he sits while lying you down with your head in his lap. He lifts up your shirt enough to expose your belly and he starts to rub his cool hand over it softly while at the same time stroking your hair. It actually helps, you’ve never had anyone do this to you, but then again you didn’t eat much, even before you ran away from home. This was the first time you’ve actually eaten and gotten full. You don’t think you’ll be able to keep eating like that though, it really did hurt.

“Feeling any better?” Gamzee asks. You look at his face and give him a small smile.

“Yeah, that feels really nice. I’ve never had this before.” He looks at you puzzled.

“A tummy rub or a full belly?” he asks.

“Both, my parents never really fed me regularly, and Karkat and I never really could afford to pig out on food.” You answer enjoying the feeling of his slim fingers in your hair. The fingers stop and you look up at him again, his eyes are trained on you, your face, your eyes, and even your very soul.

“That’s motherfucking awful, then that asshole has the nerve to starve you? How often did he feed you?”

“Twice a week.” You answer lamely. His face contorts itself into several emotions until he’s back at neutral. He’s pretty expressive, but then again he can do whatever he wants when in his own home. He’s allowed to do whoever he wants in his own home. Wow that was pervy, get your shit together Tav! He’s trying to be your friend. With benefits? Okay wow, your brain is apparently way too focused on all the affection you haven’t had in a long time. You try to pull yourself together, but he’s staring at you and… oh God have you been staring at each other this whole time? You feel his hand move from your hair to your cheek his thumb rubbing over your bottom lip. He’s starting to lean down until Kanaya comes in and clears her throat causing whatever trance he was in to falter. You both look over to her, and she has on a very convincing poker face.

“Rose will be visiting us some time tomorrow.” She said not even willing to acknowledge what was about to happen. You’re grateful for that you are so confused about a lot of things right now. Were you really attracted to him? Or are you just falling in love with what he’s given you? You have no idea, but you’re really in the mood for a shower or bath anything to help relax you and give you space to think.

“Sounds bitch tits wicked Kan.” Gamzee says. You slowly sit up.

“Um, I kind of want to take a bath or something, so I’m just going to go to my room.”

**Gamzee fail at reacting**

You watch as Tavros leaves to go up to his room. Kanaya looks at his retreating back as he goes up the stairs. “I’ll go help him get what he needs.” She scurries after him up the stairs.

All you can do is slump back against the couch. Wow, there must be something motherfucking wrong with you. Is he cute, yes. That did not mean you had to try and get your mack on with him. He’s still bruised and battered, and lord knows what’s going on in his head. Oh, man! He’s a rape victim! In every sense of the word. Prostitution at seventeen, three years as a fucktoy for some sleaze. He lost the first person he ever loved after being promised forever at sixteen. A childhood of hateful parents. He has to be emotionally screwed up, and here you are trying to give him the good life and you’re hitting on him. You’ve seen him cry too many times already. He doesn’t need your emotional games.

You still need to get him tested, he’s probably clean, but he could have some health problems. He didn’t eat much, and if he always bled when he was abused he could be anemic. That would explain how he doesn’t seem to react when you touch any of his bruises, just his back. You still haven’t asked about the burns on his legs. You needed to get him to a doctor as soon as all the visible damage to his body was gone. His skin is so soft and warm, but he looks a little green around the gills.

He still needs new clothes. You wonder if there’s anything in particular he would like. He’s muscular so he probably works out sometimes. Does he have any other hobbies? Probably not, but maybe. Heh, here you are trying to put the moves on him and you still don’t know anything about him. What’s his favorite color? When’s his birthday? You wonder if his parents ever put out a missing persons report on him. If they truly are how he says, then probably not. You decide to head up to your study and think about checking with your… resources.

**Kanaya watch over the frazzled boy**

Tavros is running back and forth from his private bathroom to the bed. He’s picking out soaps and shampoos and other supplies you’ve found around the house. He’s muttering to himself about damsels in distress and a few other Disney references. You decide not to say anything and just examine him. He moves pretty well for someone so injured. He finally stops and looks at you. “So how long have you known Gamzee?” he asks.

“Since middle school. I was hall monitor and he was always trying to ditch. Stopped him every time, even when bribed with chocolate. Eventually we met again in detention.” you pause at the expression on his face, jaw slack. “I got in trouble for kicking an asshole in the crotch, but anyway he said that there was no way I’d survive the torture chamber that was detention. So He kept me protected until he saw me punch the same asshole in the face. We just sort of stuck together since.” He nods in understanding.

“Didn’t you say that you still had a friend out in the city? Would you like us to find him? He’s probably worried sick about you.” You ask remembering him talking about it at breakfast. He looks down frowning.

“I don’t think it would be a bad idea. His name is Dave Strider.”

“I’ll see if I can find him, enjoy your bath.” You tell him and he smiles appreciatively, he has a wonderful smile. You can see why Gamzee is so obviously smitten. You turn to leave. Strider, that name rings a bell.

**Tavros have a thought provoking bath**

The goal of this bath was to lessen the stress, but sadly your thoughts are swirling in your head. Okay first things first, Gamzee. What the hell is going on there? You really like him, but you don’t know if it’s like a crush, or if its appreciation. He seems to be into you, but is it because he just wants to fuck you, or because he truly cares? He’s already proven that he cares and ever since you left the apartment he hasn’t tried to get you to do any favors. You know it’s not because he didn’t like the blow job, because your technique has a very high success rate. Also, since you were looking at him the whole time you saw the moment his calm demeanor broke and he started moaning, a little like a whore.

Teehee, it’s nice to know you sort of made someone else your bitch for a change. You wonder what kind of sounds he makes when he’s fucked. He has to be fit under those clothes. The thought of having him wrapped around you, moaning as you fuck him, making him feel pleasure like he’s never known. His back arching off the bed. His deep voice calling your name, you licking his nipples and kissing his lips.

It occurs to you that you have been touching yourself and you’re close to climaxing. You decide to keep going your fantasies spurring you on. You actually haven’t done this in a long time and it actually feels nice. Your body and mind actually agreeing on this for the first time in four years. You start thinking about Gamzee being inside of you and fucking you, making love to you caring about you. His gentle touches and soft kisses. You come hard and fast your release is long and there’s a lot of it. You immediately feel mad at yourself. You’ve already fucking fallen for him and you don’t even know what he likes. What are his hobbies? Does he like animals? Would he buy you a puppy? Okay that might be pushing it, but hey, why not?

So yes you like Gamzee, but like and love are two different things, and even though you’ve only had one experience with it, you knew not to rush into things. Just go with the flow, and maybe you’ll be able to figure everything out. This whole thing kind of reminds you of this song from one of the few movies that you owned.

_“Do I want you because you’re wonderful? Or are you wonderful, because I want you. Are you the sweet invention of a lover’s dream? Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?”_

You lean back and let your thoughts wander. If only you weren’t so fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the headcannon that Tavros can sing, or just enjoys music in general.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee and Kanaya discover Tavros' illness and call in a friend to help understand what's wrong

**Gamzee check on Tavros**

Tavros has been in the bathroom for a very long time now. You hope the little motherfucker’s alright. With a sense of dread you go up the stairs to his room. Once you make it to his bathroom you open the door to see that he’s passed out in the tub. He looks pale, he’s trembling and his breathing is shallow. You move to get a towel and shake him gently while calling out to him.

“Tav, Tavros. Come on wake up kid.” You say. His eyes open slightly and you can see he’s struggling to stay awake.

“What’s happening?”

“I’m going to move you to the bed, okay?” You tell him, you’re not really sure if you should let him go back to sleep, but he looks terrible. Is he sick and if so then with what? You know you’re going to have to call you doctor friend, Tav isn’t ready to go out yet. You grab a bath towel and he’s staring at you. You can tell he’s looking, but not seeing which worries you even more. You move over to him and kneel next to the tub.

“Hey, can you stand?” You feel dumb for asking because he is in no shape to be able to move. He nods slightly to your surprise and he struggles to get up. Grasping his hand you help him up and wrapping the towel around him you lift him up. You were expecting him to say something about being carried, but all he manages is a pained groan. Carrying him to the bed you set him down and he stays wrapped up in the towel and blankets.

“Do you need anything? Has this happened before.” You ask.

“Can I have some water? And yes this happens all the time.” He replied in a tired voice. He sounded really weak. It was scaring you.

“Kanaya, can you bring up a glass of motherfucking water please?” you yell. Tavros winces and you apologize, but you don’t want him to be alone. “Do you hurt anywhere?”

“No. I’m just tired, I wanna sleep.” He says whining slightly.

“I don’t think that’s a good motherfucking idea.” You say, but then he opens one of his eyes all the way and glares at you. If looks could kill this one would have burned you at the stake for blasphemy.

“Just let me sleep, I already told you this isn’t the first time this has happened.” He says, he’s still glaring but his voice is really weak. Kanaya finally comes in with that glass of water.

“What’s going on?” she asks as you take the glass and give it to Tavros. He chugs it down and then lays back down immediately closing his eyes.

“Tav wake up kid. Come on!” you say kind of panicky. (Kanaya had to grab you before you started slapping him awake)

“Gamzee let him be!” she says to you as she drags you out.

**Kanaya calm your friend**

You move Gamzee to his study and hug him to you as he freaks out. You’re a little shaken up about Tavros as well, but calming Gamzee down is your main concern for the moment. “Shoosh, it’s okay. We just need to make a few calls and we can get him checked out okay?” you say while combing your fingers through his unruly waves. His breathing calms and he’s still hugging you.

“He was passed out in the tub, and it made me think of my mom.” He says.

“It’s okay, he’s not dead he just needs rest. Remember he’s been malnourished for most of his life. We can call the doctor and he’ll be okay.” He nods into your shoulder. You really hope what you said is true you really want to help that boy.

**Tavros dream**

_Your back in Colorado, it winter and it’s cold, you’re wearing a ratty jacket that’s too small. It’s so cold and you feel miserable. Suddenly you’re in someone’s scrawny arms. Looking up you see it’s_ Karkat.

_“You look like hell. Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself?” he asks looking down at you. He caresses your face and you know that he sees the bruises. You just smile and hug him tight to you. He squeezes back. ”Yeah, yeah. I missed you too, but Tav you need to tell them you’re sick. This new guy looks rich as fuck he can help you.” He says._

_“I know and I will, I promise. I kind of forgot about it because of how sudden this was.” You say sheepishly. He rolls his eyes. You miss his eyes, you miss everything about him._

_“Tav, I want you to know that it’s okay if you want to move on.” He says looking you dead in the eye._

_“Wha-“_

_“I know you feel something for this new guy, and I want you to go for it. You need someone who can always be there for you and I know that’s who he wants to be. So stop being scared and go for it.”_

_“But… I’m trash now. I still don’t completely understand my feelings.”_

_“Tavros fucking Nitram shut your goddamn mouth! You are not trash, yes you’ve had problems and yes I know you feel dirty and used, but you’re still one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. It was one of the many reasons why I love you. I’m sorry that me dying fucked everything up, I’m sorry you had to suffer even more abuse, but believe me when I say it’s going to be okay. You can trust these people. Please for fuck’s sake take care of yourself.” He’s started crying now some of the tears falling on your face. You reach up to wipe away his tears._

_“I will, I promise, and Karkat?” you say he looks at you and you smile at him. “Thank you for being my best friend, for caring about me, and for being my first love. You will always have a place in my heart, and I don’t blame you for anything. I will always love you even if I do move on.” You tell him._

_You’ve always thanked him for sticking up for you when you were younger, seeing him for the first time in years, even if it was a dream, felt good. He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. You just held each other until he started to fade away._

You woke up wrapped in blankets that were slightly damp. The last thing you remember was having Gamzee carry you to the bed, then some other things happened, and after that you passed out. This sort of thing has been happening for the past year, you never got checked out by a doctor though and … he… just ignored it. You try to sit up but then regret it as you’re lightheaded and dizzy. Resting your head back on the pillows you think about the dream you just had. Karkat told you to move on and get help. You want to get better, and maybe try going back to school. It would be nice. You stare at the ceiling until you go back to sleep.

**Kanaya check on Tavros**

You go back into Tavros’ room to see that he’s still asleep. He looks peaceful and you really don’t want to disturb him, but for Gamzee’s sake and Tavros’ you want to examine him before the doctor shows up. Carefully walking over to his bed you pull back the covers enough that his more private parts aren’t showing, and that’s when you see it. There’s a scar on the right of his abdomen that you hadn’t noticed, it looks like it was surgical and closed with staples. You run your fingers over it feeling the bumps.

“What happened here?” you ask yourself quietly.

“My appendix burst.” Came a quiet sleep filled voice. You look up and see that Tavros is looking at you, but barely his eyes are still partially shut.

“Your appendix? Who took it out?” you ask. Tavros just closes his eyes and takes a deep breath you wonder if he needs more water.

“The guy I was living with did. He took me to the bathroom and he gave me… something to ease the pain. I’m not sure what it was, but next thing I know I’m in the bed bandaged up. He let me rest for two weeks after that, it was one of the nicest things he had done.” He says his voice is fading and he sounds like he’s going to pass out again. Clutching his cold hand you stand straight to look at his face.

“Tavros!” you say in the most authoritative voice you can muster. He cracks his eyes open in what could be surprise if he wasn’t struggling so hard to actually focus on you. “How long have you been like this?”

“A year. It got worse when my appendix was taken out cause I lost a lot of blood.” At this information you put your fingers to his neck and feel his pulse. His heart beat is slow and much too faint.

“I’m going to get you some juice.” You tell him. He nods and closes his eyes and you rush out of the room. “Gamzee stay with Tavros and keep him awake.” You instruct as you go downstairs.

**Gamzee chat with Tavros**

Remembering that the little dude was stark naked in bed you grab a pair of sweats and a long sleeved shirt for him to put on. Once you get into his room you put the clothes on the edge of the bed and help him sit up. You see the scar on his side, but decide against asking.

“Okay brother how do you want to do this?”

“Shirt first.” He answers. You put it over his head and he puts his arms in the sleeves. Then you hand him the pants and he gets them on they ride a little low because of his hips but he seems content enough.

“That’s so much better.” He says to you. He looks exhausted.

“We’ve called a friend of mine to come and run some test on you. She may have to take some blood.” You tell him while running your hand through his hair, his head feels really warm and you start thinking he has a fever.

“That’s fine. I should’ve told you about this stuff before, but this was all so sudden and I hadn’t felt this bad in a while that I forgot.” He explains. You stroke his cheek.

“It’s cool bro we’re going to get you checked out and help you.” You tell him. Kanaya comes back with a glass of orange juice.

“I want you to drink all of this you need the sugar.” Tavros sits up again and takes the glass and drinks all the contents.

“How long until your doctor friend arrives?” he asks.

“She won’t be here for another two hours, so if you want you can go back to sleep.” Kanaya says. Tavros nods and lies back down. His eyes close and he’s asleep. You and Kanaya exit his room and go down to the living room. You start pacing back and forth mulling over everything you’ve learned so far. Seeing him so sick and weak makes your want to take care of him even more. “Tav, how much have you one through to get so sick?” Jade cannot get here fast enough.

**Gamzee: be past Tavros, five years to be exact**

You’re waiting at the bus station just outside of town. You packed the best clothes you had, an extra pair of sneakers and you managed to get around one hundred and thirty dollars from your parents’ room while they were passed out drunk in their bed. You’re getting a little anxious, and you keep your head down so no one can see your face although you’re pretty sure no one here would care at four in the morning, but still you didn’t want to get caught. You look up as you notice someone come up and it’s clear by the angry posture that it’s Karkat. You raise your hand to wave, and quickly regret it because of how much the movement hurts your back. Karkat marches up to you.

“Hey.” He says simply.

“Hi.” You say quietly.

“You ready to leave this hellhole?” At this you look up at him, you’re scared. This is your home and as fucked up as your life is right now you don’t know if you ready for this change.

“Karkat, I’m scared.”

“I know, but don’t worry I’m going to be here.” Karkat said putting his hand in your shaggy hair. “Come on, the bus will be leaving soon.” Nodding you got up and walked to the line for your bus to New Mexico, and then you’ll find a way to get to Texas. He’s holding your hand and it makes you feel better. One agonizingly long bus ride later you and Karkat get off at the stop and judging from the sounds coming from your bellies you're starving.

Between the both of you there was two hundred and sixty dollars and not wanting to spend too much of it you had agreed to split any meals you got. Walking down the street you two find a restaurant called the Midnight Diner and decide to eat there. Walking in all the décor was modeled after space. The ceiling was pith black with glowing lights that resembled stars. The tables were black as well with a silver glitter finish and the chairs were dark green. It was a little trippy, but you liked it. A tall, slim young woman came up to you her bleach blonde hair covered with a colorful hat that matched her space cadet uniform.

“Welcome to the Midnight Diner, would you boys like a table or booth?” she asked with a dazzling smile.

“We’ll take a booth.” Karkat said irritated. (he gets even crankier when he’s hungry)

“Please.” You add to soften Karkat’s tone. The waitress whose name tag said P.M. just nodded as if cranky teenage boys were the norm. She sat you down at a booth and handed you your menus.

“Would you like to order something to drink?” P.M. asked.

“We’ll just have water.” Karkat says.

“Coming right up.” She said and she walked to what looked like the kitchen area. Looking around you saw that there were very few patrons, the clock on the far wall said it was one o’clock, shouldn’t this be the lunch rush?

Looking around you saw two teenage African-American guys talking to each other. The one on the left side of the table looked like he was trying to give the other guy a pep talk. Their conversation stopped when P.M. went over to their table to bring them their food and the guy on the right started to get a little jittery, mostly with his hands. P.M. told them to enjoy their meal and then left. You watched as the guy on the left started making exasperated facial expressions at the other boy who looked down at his plate in sadness. P.M. came back with your waters and asked if you knew what you wanted.

“Can we just get the double bacon cheeseburger, hold the tomato and onions?” Karkat said. He was holding up his menu so you could see him pointing at the picture of the mentioned sandwich. You nod enthusiastically and P.M. giggles.

“Okay, that’ll be out in a few.” Karkat watched her leave before taking out a map he got from the bus station.

“Okay we have to save up on money for food, so we can’t take the bus again. I damn sure ain’t going to hitch hike all the way to Texas, so then that leaves…”

“Train?” you ask. “It looks like the best solution, but if we do that we’ll need to stock up on food.” He says with a sigh. You think about this, hitching a ride on a train sounds like an adventure, but at the same time you could run into a lot of problems, especially with the law.

“Are you sure we couldn’t just take another bus? It would be safer.” Karkat thinks for a moment, but then sighs in defeat.

“I can’t fucking think on an empty stomach.” He grumbles. He looks back up at with suddenly looking concerned. “Is your back okay, do want anything?” he asks.

“Um, no.” you say looking down.

“What are you hiding?” he asks plainly.

“Nothing.” You say quietly.

“Tavros, cut the bullshit and tell me what’s wrong. Does your back still hurt or not?” he asks his voice rising. You really didn’t want to make a scene or attract too much attention so you take a deep breath and tell him what’s been bothering you.

“I can’t feel anything.” You say quietly, he looks at you confused.

“What the fuck does that mean?” he asks. He’s not angry, he’s calm which is way worse.

“My back only hurts from soreness, but in the spots where Dad hit me I don’t feel anything.” You had been bandaging yourself and when you brushed up at one of the spots that had been hit on your lower back you didn’t feel your fingers touching you only rough new skin on your back. He looks calm, but you can see the rage burning in his eyes.

“We have to get you to farther away from those assholes.” He says plainly. You just nod and he hands you a pill. You take it without question and you two eat in silence.

**Tavros get examined by the doctor**

You wake up to Kanaya calling your name. You feel better and more energized, but you’ve still been better. You look up at Kanaya who is smiling at you.

“At least you look better.” She says. You sit up and look around and see Gamzee on the other side of your bed and at the door stands a young woman with long black hair and tan skin wearing a white lab coat over a green blouse that matched her green eyes which were framed by round glasses.

“Tavros this is Dr. Jade Harley and she’s going to give you a checkup.” Kanaya told you.

“Hi.” Jade waved with a buck toothed smile. You wave weakly.

“Hi.”

She walks over to the bed and sits next to you placing a red bag with some cartoon squids on it.

“Okay Tavros, Gamzee told me that you’ve suffered from a lot of physical and sexual abuse, correct?” she says. Her cheerful tone makes you slightly uncomfortable, but you doubt she has experience with rape victims so you just ignore it.

“Yeah, but the physical abuse brought most of my problems.” You say as she digs through her bag to bring out a stethoscope, a machine that has a cuff attached to it, so it must be for blood pressure. You think, when even was the last time you saw a doctor?

“Like the motherfucking starvation, are you going to have to take any blood from him?” Gamzee asks. Jade nods her head.

“Tavros could you stick your right arm out for me, please?” you do as she says as she takes your blood pressure, which she states is too low to be healthy. You tell her about how you’ve been starved for three years and have always had small portions of food. She nods with a look of concern coming over her features.

“I’d like to take some of your blood. Also if you feel any pain anywhere take ibuprofen, but only after you eat a meal.” She says as she takes out a vial, strip of rubber and a small baggie that holds a needle.

“Oh, this should be fun.” You say sarcastically earning a few laughs from the others. After watching what little blood you had get sucked into a vial you start to feel faint. It might be time for you to eat again. This thought feels so foreign to you.

Kanaya is already at your side with a plate of cookies that you look at skeptically. She rolls her dark green eyes. “I bought them.” You laugh and take one.

**Gamzee talk to Jade**

“All right sis, how much do I owe you?” you ask.

She just shakes her head. “This one’s on the house. I can’t believe he’s been held captive for so long. I want to take good care of him. I believe he may be anemic, but until I can know for sure make sure to feed him some meats, and sugars. I’ll let you know what I find, if he gets tired just let him sleep.” She tells you.

“Got it.”

“Good.” She says.

You walk her to the door and watch her get into her car. You go back upstairs and watch as Kanaya and Tavros talk, apparently Tavros had quite a lot of TV privileges, because their gossiping about one of those housewife shows. You smile at the scene.

You love seeing him so happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order for Tavros to completely start anew he has to come clean to police about his time held captive in that prison of an apartment. Things between him and Gamzee escalate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long, I wish I could say it won't happen again, but I can't. Thank you for taking an interest in this and don't worry I still got big plans for this story.

**Gamzee spend some alone time with Tavros**

It’s been a week and Tavros has gotten better. Most of the bruises have healed up. You have noticed that he seems to work in a pattern. Whenever you come home from doing a job he’s there to greet you sometimes he even kisses you. You’ve talked to Kanaya about it and she’s worried that it’s learned behavior left over from the kid’s abuser. You’re not exactly sure how to handle it so you just let him do what he wants, since kissing is all he does. He’s also really good at keeping the house clean and cooking. Whenever he isn’t in the house he’s outside sitting by the pool. You wonder if he even knows how to swim. Right now you’re both sitting on the couch in the living room watching the news. His old “caretaker” was reported missing and now there’s an investigation.

“When police investigated the victim’s home it was clear that the home was robbed. Mainly a TV and what police are reporting a person. A broken cuff attached to a chain was found in the bedroom, and the safe in the study was empty.” The screen showed pictures of the chain and the safe, they also show the padlocked cabinets and fridge. Tavros sits and watches, his expression is… unreadable. A police woman appears on the screen. “Residents reported than there was another person living in this apartment with the victim. H

owever no one knows exactly what they look like.”

On the screen a man in his mid-thirties appeared. He kind of has this 1950s greaser vibe to him. “Yeah, I got all kinds of complaints about yelling and screaming coming from that room. Whenever I went to check it out all I got was that mook at the door, and occasionally I heard something moving around in the kitchen. There was definitely someone else living in there, but I never saw who.”

You turn to look at him again. “So, no one in the entire motherfucking building actually knew about you?” you ask him.

“I think everyone knew he was a pusher so they stayed out of his business as much as possible.” He said looking at the screen. You stare at him, the serious expression on his face is freaking you out.

“The police are going to be looking for you, I’m not going to push you into doing anything, but maybe it would be best if we ta-“

“NO!” he yells sitting up. You put your hands up in defense.

“Tav, think about it. There’s no reason for people to think you’re dead, you’re nineteen they won’t send you away. I won’t let them, I promise.” You tell him. He looks at you in contemplation. The news continues with a mention of DNA testing and the search for the missing tenant. He bites his lip and sighs.

“I guess, it won’t be so bad. You’ll be with me, right?” he says looking at you hopefully.

“Every step of the way.” You tell him.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

**Gamzee: Be Tavros a few days later**

You walk into the police station with Gamzee by your side. He’s been helping you stay calm, and you’re really grateful for that. However you feel like you have made a grave mistake. This isn’t your first time dealing with the police, but that was when your boyfriend was lying dead in a body bag. Now you’re a former underage prostitute, who has killed someone, and never confessed about it. Oh god, there are so many people in this building and it’s freaking you out. Oh man, it’s been so long since you’ve been around this many people. You feel like the world is coming down all around you, and you can’t breathe. You double over trying you’re hardest to breathe, but it feels like the oxygen isn’t getting to your lungs fast enough. Your breaths are coming in faster and harder, but your lungs are still on fire.

“Tav, Tav!” Gamzee face comes into view. “Tavros, look at me.” You focus more on his face. His eyes are staring right into yours. “You’re going to be okay, but if you don’t want to do this then say the word and we’ll leave.” He’s speaking so gently, it helps you relax, and it’s getting easier to breathe. His eyes are calming and he rubs your arm in a soothing manner.

“I’m fine.” You say once you feel like you can breathe.

“Are you sure?” he asks cupping your face. Why does his touch make you feel so good? So cared for. You decide to push those thoughts away for another time. You have business to take care of.

“Let’s just get this over with.” You say quietly. He nods and helps you stand up. When did you get on the ground? Either way you both walk into the lobby and are immediately greeted by an African-American woman in her mid-twenties with jet black hair and unusual ice blue eyes. Her badge reads J. Crocker.

“Detective Crocker thishis is Tavros Nitram the missing tenant you’ve been looking for.”

“Hi.” You say sheepishly.

“Hello dear.” She says sweetly in a southern accent. “Come right this way, we’re going to ask you a few questions. Is that going to be okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine. Gamzee can come with me though, right?” you ask.

“Of course he can, hon.” She replies as she leads you to an office. You sit down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk, and Gamzee sits next to you. You just realized that he’s the reason you’re ex is dead, shouldn’t he be worried. Officer Crocker sits down in her chair and she stares at Gamzee expectantly.

“What did you do this time Makara?” This catches you off guard. You look over at Gamzee’s smug face and you are so confused.

“Well you see I had to deal with old boy and his sticky fingers. He made me mad so I shot him, motherfucker fell down dead and I went back to his place to take all his stuff.” This admittance makes your jaw drop, but Ms. Crocker just makes an exasperated sigh.

“Okay, you know what, forget I asked.” She then moves her attention to you. “Okay Tavros I’m going to ask those questions now.”

“Okay.” You say still confused.

“How long had you been living with the deceased?”

“Three years.”

“We found traces of blood splatter in the carpets, was it yours?”

“Yes.”

“We also saw the padlocked cabinets and fridge. What was that all about?”

“He said that, I needed to be fed properly. He kept my portions down and I wasn’t allowed to eat junk food. At least not often.”

“What does that mean?”

You take a deep breath because this is something you aren’t proud of. “If I let him do whatever he wanted to me, he would give me treats and presents. That only happened on holidays or special occasions though.”

“Special occasions?”

“Yeah, like my birthday. Or what he called our anniversary.” Gamzee stares at you in disbelief and so does the detective.

“Tavros how often did he beat you?”

“Not that much, at least not as much as when I first moved in with him. The last time he beat me was because he was mad and drunk. I tried to get him to go to bed, but he had other ideas. My first mistake was refusing, I should’ve known better.”

“So the last time he beat you he also raped you?” she asked with concern.

“Yeah.” You can see the worry in her eyes. “I know how this sounds, but everything I did and let him do was to survive. If could’ve left I would’ve, I tried, and well you guys saw the chain. There was another time where I tried to leave, but I was punished for that as well.” You say and Gamzee looks at you.

“What do you mean?” he asks. You just rub your thighs where the burn scars are and he understands. Ms. Crocker on the other hand has more questions and after she looks something up on her computer, she turns to look at you.

“Tavros we have you recorded as a runaway from Colorado along with another young man named Karkat Vantas. Why did you run away from home?”

“My parents were abusive and after my dad had punished me for coming out, Karkat and I decided to run away so that no one could hurt me ever again.”

“Do you have evidence of their abuse?” she asked. You stand up and turn around lifting up your shirt to show her your back. You hear a small gasp and decide that was enough proof for her. You sit back down and notice Gamzee staring at you out of the corner of your eye. You just give him a reassuring smile, well as much as you can, you’re still slightly embarrassed about your teeth. (or lack thereof)

“Well you’re an adult know so it’s not like we can force you to go back, and I’m guessing you don’t want to contact your parents.”

“No, but do you think you could look them up? I didn’t even know that I was ever reported missing.”

“You were, not by your parents, but by your school counselor. It seems she was one of the few people who noticed you were missing.” Ah, Ms. Pyrope the only adult in the whole town that genuinely cared about you. Her and her daughter, besides Karkat, were your only friends. You feel bad for making them worry, but enough had been enough. “Oh, I see.”

“Tavros after Karkat died you went completely off the grid, what wer-”

“I survived by selling my body,” you admit bluntly. She stares at you. You can tell that she’s contemplating what to do with that information. You just stare at each other before she breaks eye contact and sighs.

“I see. Well thank you for coming here. Now that we know you’re safe you are completely free to go.” She said entering data into her computer. “Oh, and if you intend to stay here you’re going to need a state ID.” You nod and stand to exit.

Gamzee gets up to trail after you, you walk silently until you’re out of the building and in the car. You let out a huge sigh, but whether it’s out of relief or exhaustion you aren’t sure. You just lean back and close your eyes, instantly falling asleep.

**Gamzee contemplate**

That’s one part of getting Tav’s identity taken care of, now you just need to worry about his government identity. You’re concerned about his mental state he may not have Stockholm, but he still has a defeated demeanor about him. It’s about time that you got Rose over to the house. You stop at a stop light and think about all the medical help he still needs. You can get all his personal information from the police. His lab results came back and he is anemic for sure and Jade is worried about his heart, because he is low on protein. His hypoglycemia is near severe and it’s putting him at risk for Diabetes. Making sure that doesn’t happen is top priority. Seeing him pass out so suddenly is still scary, but you’ve decided to deal with it as best you can. You’ll feed him when you’re back at the house. You look at him out of the corner of your eye he’s been through so much. It really makes you mad that kids still have so much shit to deal with. You’ve seen your fair share of tragedies, but there was never a time when you were starving, or that you didn’t know that your family loved you. He lived his life knowing his parents didn’t love him. No child should have to go through that.

You’ve made it to the house and when you cut the engine you turn to see that in his sleep he’s working his shirt off. Whoa what the hell? “Tav, Tavros.” You call out to him, but the shirt is off and he’s still asleep. You get out and help him out of the car, carrying him inside. He mumbles a little in his sleep as you take him to his room. You set his half-naked body on the bed and leave to get him some food. You take out your cell phone and call Kanaya.

“Hello?” Kanaya says sounding winded.

“Hey Naya, do you have a second?” you ask.

“Yes I do, what is it?” she replies.

“Tav and I just got back to the house, he passed the motherfuck out.”

“Oh no, is he okay?” “Yeah, I think he was just emotionally exhausted, and he didn’t eat that much this morning, but I’m going to get him something in a bit. Anyway I was wondering if you would like Rose to meet Tav now? Honestly I think he needs it.” You say as you look for something high in sugar to feed Tav.

“Sure, but why so insistent?” she asks.

“He just took his motherfucking shirt off in his sleep. I ain’t an expert, but I don’t think that’s normal.” You explain grabbing an orange out of the fridge.

“No it’s not, Rose has agreed to come over. Is tomorrow okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” “Rose looks forward to meeting him. I’ve got something to do, see you tomorrow.” With that she hangs up, and you start heading upstairs. When you get there you see Tavros is tossing and turning in his sleep. His nightmares haven’t been getting any better. It’s one of the many things about him that worry you. Shaking him has resulted in getting punched in the face, so instead you sit next to him and start stroking his hair and talking to him.

“Shh, Tavros. You’re safe now, no one can hurt you anymore I won’t let them.” You keep petting his hair and he slowly calms down, eventually waking up.

“Gamzee?” he asks with a scared look in his brown eyes.

“I’m here.” You tell him with a smile. He sits up holding his head he looks down at his bare chest. He looks surprised then he turns his gaze back to you, and you sense some hostility. Quickly putting your hands up where he can see them you explain what happened. “It wasn’t me, you took your shirt off in the car, I’m just as confused as you are.” He looks back down at his chest and then flops back onto the bed.

“It happened again.” He says covering his face with his hands.

“What happened?” you ask offering the already peeled orange. He takes it and breaks it off before he answers.

“It was just a recurring nightmare, don’t worry about it.” He says quietly and he starts eating. You want him to talk about it, but decide against pushing him. It’s been a long day for him. You watch him eat a little, but then you remember his back.

“Tavros, is it okay if I look at your back?” you ask, He stops chewing, but then turns so that his back is facing you. The light patches of skin that scatter out about his back look smooth, but upon touching them you find that they’re pretty rough. “Your dad did this?” you ask.

“Yeah.” He says. You also notice that there are faded claw marks on his back.

“What about these scratches?” you ask.

“Bullies at school. I was forced into a fight once.” He says quietly. That’s motherfucking awful. You trace the few splotches of skin that aren’t damaged and he shivers. You grin and do it again, but this time lighter to see if he feels it. He does as he shivers again. You chuckle and he turns his head to glare at you, but he has a small smile on his plump lips.

“That kind of tickles.” he says turning to face you. You stare at each other for a little bit, but then the next thing you know you’re kissing him. Hardcore kissing him, and he is kissing you just as hard. Holy shit you’re motherfucking doing this.

**Tavros get some lovin’**

This is the first time in years another human has made you feel this way. Your heart is pounding in anticipation as Gamzee starts kissing the side of your neck his breath sending tingles straight to your cock. He’s moving down until he reaches your collarbone, and continues down as his hands rub your cock. “Ah~” you moan out. You’re usually not that vocal, but then again your past partners didn’t really care about what turned you on. Gamzee strokes you while he sucks on your left nipple and plays with the right one, you don’t remember being so sensitive there but you aren’t complaining. He eventually breaks off to lick down to your bellybutton. Oh, God, you’re going to let him do this. You never thought that you would want this ever again. He looks up at you with a questioning expression. He is so sweet. You nod and he begins to pull your pants and underwear off, you’re only half erect, but Gamzee doesn’t seem to care. He practically

swallows your cock, and you proceed to let out an embarrassingly loud sound that wasn’t necessarily a moan more like a surprised squeal. Gamzee chuckles with your dick in his mouth and it feels excellent. He starts moving at a steady pace, your dick surrounded by wet heat. It’s been so fucking long since anyone’s gone down on you. You sit up on your elbows and lock eyes with him and he grins mischievously around your dick, and it sends shivers down your spine. Suddenly there’s a huge wave of pleasure coursing through you as he starts humming. Holy shit is this what it feels like when you did it to other people? You throw your head back and moan like a whore. (except for once you aren’t faking) Gamzee chuckles some more and damn it feels good. He bobs his head up and down still humming and you get a tight grip on the sheets. Your back arches and you let out another moan. The wet heat is all you can feel and its driving you crazy. It’s driving you close to the edge and that tight feeling in your belly is so intense.

“Ah~ Gamzee, I’m gonna cooargh~” you came and he swallowed. Not only that he milked you for everything your worth but he continued humming until he came off you with a pop. You feel boneless and slightly winded. Gamzee comes up to lie next to you and he’s smiling like a cheeky bastard. “That was not fair.” You tell him still trying to catch your breath. He just smiles and starts to undress himself. He more muscular than you thought, and you are instantly turned on again. He sticks two fingers to your lips and you were about to tell him not to bother, but then you remember that he is a size that you weren’t completely ready for. So you take his fingers and start to lick and suck not once breaking eye contact with him. You’re both smirking at each other and once you feel that his good you pull away with your tongue left swirling on the digits. You see Gamzee’s eye twitch and his fingers are replaced by a tongue. While you proceed to make out you feel an intrusion in your ass and it makes you tense up but only for a little bit. Gamzee’s poking and prodding is uncomfortable until he pokes you somewhere deep within you and you moan into his mouth. He breaks away with a smirk and you feel yourself blushing. He pokes it again before withdrawing his fingers. He looks down at you with a hint of worry in his eyes.

“Gamzee just do it already.”

“I ain’t completely sure about…” you sigh. Sitting up you move your face so it’s in front of his cock. You lick it from base to tip before taking it whole in your mouth sucking on in what you know is a sloppy manner. This was one of your least favorite techniques, but you knew it would help relieve Gamzee of his stress. He’s moaning above you and after a few more seconds you pull off to see that you did a sufficient job. You stare up at him with a smirk, and lie back down. With a small sigh he lifts your legs so that your knees are on his shoulders. You take a deep breath and feel him slide into you. He is bigger than you’re used to, but it doesn’t hurt. Gamzee slides into you so slowly and carefully and it honestly makes you heart swell. You haven’t been handled with care in so long, for once you aren’t wishing you were somewhere else. There’s nowhere else you’d rather be. He pushes in until he’s all the way inside you. You moan out at the feeling. It’s so satisfying and you don’t even care about how much you beg him to move. He complies and slowly pulls out and slides back into you. Knowing that he’s going slow so that he doesn’t hurt you, you lift your hips in an effort to make him speed up. Lacing your fingers behind his neck you look into his indigo eyes.

“Gamzee it’s okay, you aren’t going to break me.” You say leaning up to kiss him sweetly. That seems to make him understand and he speeds up some more and pulls out of you until his tip is the only inside you and he thrusts back into you. You moan unabashedly and tell him to go harder. He starts thrusting and after a few thrusts he hits you in a spot that has you seeing white. “Oh, god right there Gamzee! Do it again, please.” You feel like you’re losing your mind and you couldn’t care less. It feels so good. You can hear Gamzee grunting and it turns you on even more. Feeling a pressure building in side you try to meet his thrusts but in the end give up and start stroking yourself. You throw your head back letting out a breathy moan. You open your eyes and see that Gamzee is staring at you with hungry eyes.

“God Tav you’re so beautiful.” He says, and that does it. You come all over yourself. Gamzee is still thrusting into you and you assist by swiping your fingers across your stomach and stick your fingers into your mouth as always you keep eye contact with Gamzee and you feel him tense up as he comes closing his eyes. You take in the sight of his scrunched up face. He really is so cute like that. You wonder what his other sex faces look like. You catch him as he falls forward and shiver as he pulls out of you. He sits up and kisses you on the lips. It’s so sweet and slow that it causes you to whimper. Its so sweet and loving, and you still don’t believe its happening. When you break away you hug him tightly to you. He tenses but relaxes and you feel him stroke your hair.

“Thank you.” You whisper.

“Its been a long time since you’ve been treated right. I figured it was time someone else made you feel good.” He says caressing your face. This makes you blush. Holy crap, if he doesn’t stop being nice to you, you’re going to get Stockholm. Oh god say something back.

“I haven’t felt that good in a very long time, but what about you?” you ask, running your fingers down his chest.

“Once.” He says with a more subdued smile. You decide not to push it and instead feel yourself drift off again. Gamzee wraps his arms around and even though your still a sticky mess you can’t help but feel happy. It’s been so long since you felt that way that it’s such a hard thing to recognize. “Sweet dreams Tavros.” Gamzee whispers and you smile.


End file.
